Dear Esme
by Samwelshdragon
Summary: Bella writes a letter to Esme to say goodbye, AU of new moon
1. Chapter 1

Dear Esme,

I am not sure why I am writing this letter but I guess it's because I hope that what I thought you felt for me when we were together was real. I wanted you to know what I felt for not only you but the entire Cullen family was real I did love you all. When I fell in love with Edward I was so lucky because I not only got his love but I got a family's love as well. I had never had that before, I love Charlie and Renee but I never got to be the child, I was always the one who supported and took care of everything. With you I got more than I ever thought I could have, I had two brothers willing to protect and love me. Jasper I know found it hard to be around me but when I needed him he was there protecting me. I got a sister and a best friend rolled up into one little bright pixie package and I even got Rosealie though she hated me she must have felt something or she would not have agreed to help when James came after me. Most of all though and the thing I am perhaps most grateful for is that I got to experience having proper parents. You did not expect me to take care of everything all you asked of me was to be myself and to let you take care of me. You will never be able to comprehend how much that meant.

Bu t then you were gone. I tried so hard to work out why you had left me. I thought that you loved me and would protect me from the monsters that you had worked so hard not to be like. At first I denied it possible that you would leave and tried to persuade myself that you would be back. Then came the questions how and why had you left me, was I not good enough? Had you like Edward not loved me? Was I mealy a distraction like those that Edward has now gone to chase? Then came the pain. I was left with nothing but searing pain and nightmares that had me watching you, the one I loved as a mother turning away from me while telling me you did not love me. Even the possibility of that being true made the pain caused by Edward life ending. I was broken. I no longer ate or slept and just spent my days wishing that I could become numb to the pain that had broken me.

You may be asking why I have now chosen to send this letter. Edward once told me that Carlisle had a theory that traits that were held in one's human life where transferred through to one's vampire life. I guess that I might have been more like Alice if I had become like you because some weeks ago I began to have visions. At first I thought perhaps they were just waking nightmares but they began to happen more and more often and they felt different to my nightmares they felt final somehow. In these visions I can see that Laurant is coming because Victoria has sent him. I see him standing over me, then I feel physical pain so different from the emotional pain I have been living with then there is nothing. I cannot help but feel some relief at this you could say at least I know it will be over soon.

I don't mean this letter to cause you pain. I think I know now though why I am writing it. I am saying goodbye and I guess I wanted you to know how I feel. I am not scared anymore not like when I knew James was after me. I cannot fight my fate knowing that this action I am taking will protect you and Charlie, both my families. Please know and tell the others I love you but it is now me turn to be the one who is protecting the rest of you. I am not sure when he will be here but I know it is soon and I know that once I am gone no further harm will come to you or to Charlie. So this is my final goodbye. I found your address on the internet so I hope you do mind that I am sending this to you Edward was keen for a clean break but I find that you are too important to me for that, I cannot tell Charlie but he knows I love him and I pray that you know that I love you so much to.

I love you mum, goodbye

Bella

**What do you think. Should I leave it as a one shot or should I go on?**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Esme was surprised when she go back from hunting to find a letter waiting for her. She could not remember ever having received a letter at least since she had become a vampire. She picked it up and as soon as she did she recognised the sent on the letter. Bella. She opened it with tender hands. She did not want to even slightly rip this precious gift from her youngest daughter. Oh how she missed her, how it had broken her to be forced to leave her. As she began to read the letter her heart broke.

For a moment she allowed herself to sink. Her daughter actually thought that she was not loved. That she had not been a star in the sky to her. As Esme read further in the letter fear struck her and she knew that she must go save her daughter. She called her husband quickly grabbing the car keys from the table. As he came into the room she grabbed him and dragged him to the car placing the letter into his hand. "We have to go."

As soon as he read over the letter he knew what had so upset his wife. He took the car keys and swung round to the driver's side. It would normally take around 10 hours to get to Fawkes but Carlisle knew that if he drove they could be there in 6. Esme was very quite during the drive she had pulled a piece of paper from her pocket and was reading it over and over as she had done the past few weeks. It was her own letter that she has written to Bella when they has first left her. She had not sent it having gone along with Edward's pleas for a clean break for the girl that they all loved. Now she wished that she had had the courage to send it when she wished to. Looking at Bella's letter on the dash board Bella would have been so much better off she would not have been in the danger she was in.

"Dearest Bella,

Oh my beautiful girl, I am so sorry that I have had to write this letter. When Edward begged us to leave you, to act like you had never been part of our lives, a part of my soul was broken. You see Bella though I did not want to leave you and all I wanted to do was to hold you to me and protect you all I could remember was the look of devastated look on your face when I was forced to leave in the face of a tiny paper cut. You had become of one of my family, my daughter in everything but blood, a sister to Alice and Rosalie (though she would never admit it) and to Jasper and Emmett. Carlisle to felt as if you were another daughter to him, he felt especially close to you Bella because out of all his daughters he was able to take care of you. With Alice and Rosalie he was never able to clean there scraps and was never able to feel that they needed him to protect them. He did not say, because he did not wish to hurt Edward but I am his wife, I know it almost killed him to have to leave you.

Please know my dearest Isabella that you are loved. You are one of the stars in my sky and I will never stop thinking of you and not even in a million years ever stop thinking of you as one of my daughters. If you ever need me Bella please call, though I am not sure when or if we will ever see you again I will always come if you call. Always

Your loving mother

Esme"

Why hadn't she sent it she asked herself again as the sign stating WELCOME TO FORKS. She looked forward and became determined Laurant would not harm a hair on Bella's head she would kill him first and she would not leave her daughter again despite what Edward said, never again. She just prayed to god that they were in time....


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_**(Just a quick interlude about Carlisle feelings on event on the way to save Bella. Sorry about any spelling mistakes I know a couple of people pointed out Fawkes, lol, last chapter. I can only blame the fact on the only sun of the summer so far here in Wales frying my brain. That and reading too much Harry Potter fan fiction. I also have to say I didn't actually read the books I listened to them on audio book. Thank you for the reviews though and keep them coming I really do enjoy reading them.)**_

When Carlisle had heard Esme's call he had not been sure what to expect but it had not been Bella's letter. As soon as he had read it he understood the look of utter devastation on his wife's face their daughter was hurting and her life in danger. He knew that weeks after they had left that Esme had written a letter but he had kept his own thoughts private, even from Edward he had not wanted to burden his family with the grief of parting with Bella.

He had immediately pulled Esme to the car knowing they would be faster if he drove. He did not have to look at Esme to know that she was reading the letter that she had written to Bella and did not have the courage to send, she had not wanted to face Edward's wrath and anger if she had he knew she now wished she had gone against Edward in this. Damn Edward he thought. For the first time in 100 years since Carlisle had turned him he was truly disappoint and angry with his son. Not even when Edward had decided to leave the family for a time to be what he felt his true nature demanded him to be was he this angry. He had tried so hard to argue with Edward to persuade him to stay in Forkes that they could protect Bella but he had failed and now because of Edward's hard headedness his beautiful baby girl may be facing the end of her life, but add to that she was alone and thinking they did not love her.

From the first time Edward had brought her into the ER he had felt the pull to her just like he had when he found Rosalie and Alice. He had laughed when Esme had made a flippant comment about father's and daughters when Alice had joined them but he knew she was right. As much has he loved his sons there was something about his daughters that had him wrapped around their little fingers. It was different will Bella thought. Alice and Rosalie had not needed him in the way that Bella had, as much as Esme craved a relationship like she would have had with her son in her human life he craved that to and Bella allowed that. She needed him to clean up scrapes and to hold her hand when she was injured, that was something the others never needed and when James had come after her she had trusted him to come up with a plan and to protect her from the evil that James brought with him.

As they have came to the boundary of the place that they once called home he knew that they would protect her again and bring her back into the family if she would let them, he would not let Edward's fears over rule him again. He would not allow himself to think that they were too late, she would be alive and she would know that they loved her and that she was his true daughter because somehow she had imprinted on his soul as a daughter. He also knew that Laurent and Victoria would pay. No one threatened his family. He may have been a peace loving man but he was a vampire, he had lived with Aro for decades after all and he knew how to fight and to kill and he would for Bella to ensure she was safe.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_**Just a quick thanks for the reviews. They have been great and I really enjoyed reading all of them. Sorry for the late delay and sorry I haven't done this before **_

_**I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT, ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO THE GREAT STEPHENIE AND I AM MAKING NO PROFIT.**_

Esme knew in her heart where her daughter would be and so did Carlisle so it was not hard to find the discrete turning that led to the meadow. Esme could not remember the last time she felt this much fear not even when she was going through her transformation she had always felt slightly jealous when she heard mothers talk about fear for their children, she had never had to truly fear for her children but she was sure that if hr heart was able to beat it would be ripping open her chest.

Carlisle had not spoken in two hours and Esme had never seen his face so dark. Esme had always know Carlisle to be a peaceful and calm man never had seen he so angry and so distant. This added to Esme's fear because it had been Carlisle's peaceful nature and spiritt had always restored her but today the darkness he exuded seemed to make things worse. Well that was until they came upon the scene in the meadow. They were too late.

Laurent stood in front of the car with Bella in his arms. Esme and Carlisle with their enhanced senses could smell the blood. Bella was limp and extremely pale. It didn't even take seconds for the two Cullen's to get out of the vehicle and to crouch down into a defensive position. Carlisle growled no warning was uttered before he leaped at the dark vampire. Esme followed grabbing Bella as she fell out of Laurent's arms. Esme watched dispassionately as her husband ripped the younger vampire apart. She smiled slightly at her husband, she was proud of him because they he was a peaceful man he became the vengeful vampire in defence of his family. It was beautiful he was magnificent but that was only a fleeting thought because Bella was in her arms and in pain. Bella was no longer limp but whimpering in anguish. "Oh my darling"

Bella seemed to be hyper aware of everything. The moment Laurent attacked her and knocked her to the ground, the moment he ripped out the vein in her arm. The motion of the blood flowing through her wound. Then she heard a beautiful sound, a growl and a rush of wind that she knew to be a vampire's movement. Then she was falling for a millisecond and then she was encased in the cold loving steel arms of her vampire mother. She had known that her end would be happy, she was going safe in the knowledge that that her father was safe and no one in Forkes would be hurt because of her but this was a happiness that she had not expected to feel again. She sighed in relief and she wanted to tell Esme that she loved her that she was so glad to be with them at the end but she found that she could not get the words out. Her life was slipping away, things were becoming fuzzy and the wonderful scent that had helped her recognize her mother had began to fade to be replaced by a fog permeated by a horrid burning smell and a flickering heat.

Carlisle crouched down next to his wife and daughter. Esme looked at him in desperation knowing that there was only one thing to do. Carlisle bent down but Esme put a hand on his shoulder and shock his head. She knew that Carlisle would understand that she needed to do this for Bella after all that had happened she wanted to do this for her daughter. She lowered her head and bit down into Bella's neck.

Esme found that she was not worried or scared as she released the venom into Bella's bite, she knew that she would be alright and though this would hurt her in the short term but at least they would still have her in their lives. As soon as the blood stopped flowing and the venom started to work Carlisle gently picked up Bella as if she was made of the most delicate spun glass. Esme got in the back and Carlisle place Bella on her lap. He started up the car and began to drive to their house made of glass, to home. Though as he drove he could not help but notice that Bella was silent, no it was more than that she seemed to be at peace. He looked in the mirror and took a few moments to watch Esme stroke Bella's hair and he smiled it looked like Esme had found her gift.

_**Well that's it. I think I will do some one shots of different family members on their thoughts about Bella's change I will most likely write them as letters to Bella. What do you think? Review please**_


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